"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield.
2. "Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." - Robin Williams.
3. "A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." - Duane Dewel.
4. "When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." - Helen Rowland
5. "I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic establishment." - Alan Bennett
6. "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe." - Jackie Mason
7. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." - Leonardo Di Vinci.
8. "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house." - Lewis Grizzard.
9. "I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern." - Mickey Rooney.
10. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." - Rodney Dangerfield.
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